I had a conversation with my three year old recently that went something like this:
Her: Let's build a castle.
Me: OK
Her: you build it and I do this
She starts to pretend to preen herself in an imaginary mirror. I pile up six pillows
Her: Do I look pretty mummy?
Me: I think you are pretty intelligent, pretty creative, pretty amazing. You going to climb up?
She eagerly clambers atop the pile
Her: You need to climb my hair cause I can't get down
Me: Why can't you climb down?
Her: You need to climb up my hair though.
Me: But that would hurt you, don't you think. I reckon you are clever enough to climb down on your own.
She climbs down looking pleased with herself
Me: Well done. See you can do it.
Her: Now you be stuck in the tower and I climb up your hair.
Me: But that would hurt if you climbed up my hair.
Her (Stroking my hair) : But it's ok now it's yellow.
Me: Come on let's both climb up
Silliness ensued.
I moved on from the yellow comment because it threw me so much. I would love to know where my daughter picked up in so much detail the story of Rapunzel. I was very glad to have the opportunity to present an alternative reading of the story and as she get's older I'll continue to offer a critique.
But it saddened my soul that we are clearly teaching fascism to three year olds. My three year old thinks it is preferable to have blond hair. Just reflect upon that. Can we please stop telling children these horrific tales of violence and prejudice.
Her: Let's build a castle.
Me: OK
Her: you build it and I do this
She starts to pretend to preen herself in an imaginary mirror. I pile up six pillows
Her: Do I look pretty mummy?
Me: I think you are pretty intelligent, pretty creative, pretty amazing. You going to climb up?
She eagerly clambers atop the pile
Her: You need to climb my hair cause I can't get down
Me: Why can't you climb down?
Her: You need to climb up my hair though.
Me: But that would hurt you, don't you think. I reckon you are clever enough to climb down on your own.
She climbs down looking pleased with herself
Me: Well done. See you can do it.
Her: Now you be stuck in the tower and I climb up your hair.
Me: But that would hurt if you climbed up my hair.
Her (Stroking my hair) : But it's ok now it's yellow.
Me: Come on let's both climb up
Silliness ensued.
I moved on from the yellow comment because it threw me so much. I would love to know where my daughter picked up in so much detail the story of Rapunzel. I was very glad to have the opportunity to present an alternative reading of the story and as she get's older I'll continue to offer a critique.
But it saddened my soul that we are clearly teaching fascism to three year olds. My three year old thinks it is preferable to have blond hair. Just reflect upon that. Can we please stop telling children these horrific tales of violence and prejudice.
I think challenging her to do the climbing and not the preening is brilliant Jen!
ReplyDeleteHowever, she said "yellow", not blonde. You have said blonde - but yellow is a colour in a book or a cartoon, which is presumably where she learnt this story from. If the picture had Rapunzel with red or green hair, that is presumably what colour she would associate with this story. Would you be equally upset if she put an orange dressing up wig on when playing at being Merida from "Brave", suggesting that only ginger people can use a bow and arrow?
This is how children play, and how the lines between fantasy and reality are blurred at this age. They fixate on bizarre little things; "you have to have a big hat to be Puss in Boots", "you can't be such-and-such because you don't have a moustache."
I think the "do I look pretty Mummy" is the sadder sign of the world's influences.
Thanks very much
ReplyDeleteDeffinately this is how children play. I think that I'd say less that fantasy and reality are blurred but that story and re-enacting are how they learn and make sense of the world. I am sure she was just replaying something either another child had communicated or she had watched somewhere.
I'd say though she said 'It's OK now your hair's yellow' She means blond when she said yellow. She has watched Brave many times and it has never lead her to say 'it's ok now' or make any comment about hair color. The way the story of Rapunzel was told obviously laid an emphasis on the colour of her hair.
I'm not sure there is a hierarchy of oppression? Seeing blond hair as something more desirable than other colors is both sexist and racist. I wish these where not the things taught to children but unless I hide them away from the world they will receive these messages. I just want to get better and better at challenging them.