Imagining #JezWeCan

'Imagination is more important than knowledge'

'Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.'

Albert Einstein

'Can you imagine Jeremy Corbyn on the front bench? Can you imagine Jeremy Corbyn at the dispatch box? Can you imagine Jeremy Corbyn as prime minister?'

I feel my imagination is under continuous question? But I'm afraid my self assured imagination has suffered no dent in it's own assurance, it has just been temporarily quietened while trying to workout how to gently and respectful suggest that the problem may be located in the imagination of the questioner.

Yes I can imagine all those things and whats more my rather fertile imagination generally floats around in a much wilder place that I am not going to share here.

But everybody thinks differently and that neurodiversity makes us stronger as a collective. So while I am generally more challenged by the A to B bit, even walking the wrong way home on occasion due to absorption in my own thoughts, I am mighty glad the world contains people good at getting from A to B.

The thing is is that it doesn't actually take much imagination to think of Corbyn as leader. Imagination may help you jump straight there but logic can get you there too and its important we make the journey both ways. 

So here's the logic:

Corbyn's Policies are popular with the electorate.

He is unlikely to be divisive given his history of trying to facilitate talks between opposing groups. He has suggested an elected cabinet and acknowledged that Labor is a broad church and would be willing to listen to a diversity of views. This is in contrast to the behavior and tactics of some other politicians recently.

All of his policies including unilateral disarmament have been successfully implemented in other countries.The vast majority of the criticism hurled at him is dependent on character assassination, mockery and derision of him and a large proportion of Labour party membership - that should tell you something. 

Lastly - look at the wrinkles where are Corbyns wrinkle marks - round his eyes they are the signature of a life of sincerity and smiles. 

Good Housekeeping - What I've learnt from the budget

Learning from the wisdom of the budget my husband and I have sat down and reviewed our household income. We thought it would be helpful to share some of our thoughts so that other people can also apply the chancellors excellent approach to finances to their own personal circumstances.

The child we were fostering has to go. Though this child has been with us three years we have come to see the lack of wisdom in times of austerity of supporting such scroungers. We are sure if she just tried a little harder he could sort out her parents break down or alternatively support herself with a job I mean if she doesn't put any effort into supporting herself then we can't keep propping her up. Plus we just don't have the room anymore the recession has made our house magically shrink.

We may get another lodger. Our current lodger is great and we really need to let him know how much we appreciate him. We are going to invite him to dinner and reduce his rent as a way of thanking him for paying 30% of his rent intermittently. We hope that keeps him happy because we really couldn't afford for him to move out. Plus we lent him several thousand pounds of our savings and if he moves out we might not get it back so we really need to make sure he stay's cause that was meant to be for the kids uni fees. 

We've cut the kids pocket money - there just isn't any room for that at the moment. We've also asked Granny if she could start doing the childcare while were at work because we can't afford nursery fees and Granny loves the kids so I'm sure she'd be happy to do it for free. Then we can go to work for more hours.

We have a family holiday coming up, to keep costs low we're going to leave the kids behind - they don't really need a holiday. We've had a look at what we could sell off and cut out. We don't want to cancel the golf club memberships or stop hosting dinner parties for our richest friends. We do think though we could put the kids on a diet of gruel. They need to stop eating so much of that junk food and piles of sugar they've been consuming anyway, we have told them repeatedly but they keep on eating what's in the cupboard. 

Also they haven't really been contributing much we might send them a bill for their toys, oh and tax them for our efforts in helping keeping the toys safe. Also I think the third one will just have to go, last in first out. 

If we keep making these right choices we should be able to run a surplus by 3010. We are anticipating some resistance from the children so we are going to make sure they hear us ask the lodger to make sure he please pays the rent. We'll let the lodger know beforehand though because we really mustn't lose him it would be so hard to find another lodger I mean there are just so few people looking for accommodation.

There is a Choice: Jeremy for Labor Leader #Jezwecan

The Wonderful Co-op.

Co-op are not going to be stocking a number of exploitative magazines aimed at a manipulative and patronising construct of masculinity (my rather long winded avoidance of saying 'lad's mag's!). 

Wahooo!!!!

This is because those companies have refused to provide said magazines in sealed bags which would prevent people being able to see the content unless they actively wanted to and bought them. (Unfortunate that these have been referred to as 'modesty wraps')

The wonderful wonderful thing about this is that no one can call this censorship - it is not. The Co-op is, well a co-operative, and has a membership, a membership today I am very proud to be part of. This decision is a response to listing to that membership. Democracy at work. 

The publishers where given a choice and they made a decision, a decision I would imagine might bring the co-op many more customers and members. 

What I love about what's happened at the Co-op is that it demonstrates how alternative business structures bypass the debates other organisations will inevitably get tangled up in: Freedom of speech (aka I want to wank to whatever I like) vs. the right to live free of oppression and intimidation, everyone needs to be free to chose and we can't possibly do anything to effect our profit margins, etc, etc.

Members of the co-op said um actually no we don't like it so it's going - simple.

I suspect though that the co-op will be miss-understood and accused of censorship. Just as David Cameron fundamentally misunderstood the point of the 'No More Page 3 Campaign' . There seems to be a disconnect between campaigners using collective voicing of issues to challenge and change attitudes and practices and those who should understand democracy and the democratic process seeing calls for censorship everywhere.

There is a co-operative alternative to capitalism. 

Shopping

I just did the weekly grocery shopping. It was quiet exciting. 

I have decided it is time to make public my new years resolution, which is to move our household to more sustainable patterns of living. I think I need to say it out loud and have it eternally recorded for the world to see because: 

1.) I am starting to struggle to separate online and offline worlds and have overwhelming urges to tweet every thought that passes through my head.

2.) It is a way of keeping myself accountable and motivated.

3.) Politicising housework might make me feel less demotivated about the whole thing.

So the first big project is grocery shopping. Today I went shopping and went only briefly into 1 supermarket (co-op) which didn't anyway have the mustard powder I was after. The whole process did take longer than had I popped to the local supermarket however I came home without a headache and a well exercised and now sleeping toddler. There where many other pleasing aspects too for example:

• When queuing to pay for my shopping at no point was I presented with an array of chocolates and sweets carefully positioned at children's eye view. In fact the only thing my daughter asked for was bread and a banana, both of which I was happy to supply.
• At the butcher (not quiet ready to tackle meet consumption yet) I witnessed one of the staff tacking the time to have a nice long chat with an older man who was sat having a cup of tea, I guess during his weekly shop. 
• I discovered at the green grocers that truffles are currently selling at around £4000 a kilo. I've got to find me some of them I thought. (I am aware that they are probably not growing in my garden but who knows!)
• The veg was considerably cheaper and better quality than it would have been in a supermarket, and not packaged.
• The fair trade rice and porridge I bought in the whole food shop was also cheaper than supermarket equivalent even though it was organic - mostly because I bought it lose. 
• I had a very nice chat about the relative ethics of two cleaning products. 
• No one asked me repeatedly if I wanted to use the self service check-out and then look at me baffled when I asked them if they realised it was taking their jobs.
• Everyone looked happy with life.
• I can be sure that the majority of what I spent will stay within the local economy.

So I appreciate these are very humble beginnings and we have a long long way to go, but it's a start and it's about habit changing and that takes practice. I'm aiming for a place where sustainable living is second nature. I'll keep you posted and would welcome guest posts on the subject. 

The beginners guide to consensual sex

It has come to my attention that a great many people seem not to have the understanding and skills to enjoy healthy consensual sex.

I thought it might therefore be useful to outline here in brief some basic pointers. However if you are still unsure what consensual sex is I strongly advise you to seek further support before embarking on any sexual activity. This information is for those who are unsure how to ensure their partner is able to consent. Those who are not being given the space to consent are not the ones who don't understand consent.

1.) In order to engage in consensual sex it is important to understand what consent means. The law defines consent as follows:

"A person consent's if they agree by choice and have the freedom and capacity to make that choice'

I've highlighted certain words here lets take a look at them one by one:

Agree: They were able to say 'no' and they choose to say yes.
Example:  'Would you like to have sex love,or do you need to get some sleep?'
                 'Oh yes please, I'd love to have sex right now'

Choice: They had at least two non harmful or threatening options.
Example: 'Would you like to have sex love?'
               'No thanks, I'm watching TV at the moment'.

Freedom: They are not coerced, manipulated or threatened in any way. It is therefore important that you don't physically restrain, threaten or otherwise attempt to control your partners behavior. If you are unsure you could try these line 'It's really important to me that we have consensual respectful sex, do you in any way feel you are unable to say no to sex?', 'Please don't feel any pressure if you don't want to have sex, I would much prefer it if you said no than do something you are unhappy or uncomfortable with.' or 'I understand that if you say no to sex you are not rejecting me as a person but that you don't want to have sex, or you are not comfortable with the particular sexual act.'

Capacity: A person does not have capacity if they are under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or asleep (the law also states that anyone bellow 13 cannot consent and that it is illegal for anyone bellow 16 to have sex). If you want to have sex with your partner but they are asleep it is not possible to have consensual sex with them as a person who is asleep does not have capacity to consent.

We suggest the most appropriate action would be to leave them to sleep and get on with something else. Perhaps you could compose a poem for your partner about how much you appreciate them, or spend some time thinking about what you could do to sexually pleasure them. Then at a more appropriate time (probably not when they first wake up - especially if they are not a morning kind of person) you could share your poem or thoughts with them. If however you really want to have sex right then and there and you suspect they may also want to have sex you could gently wake them up and ask if they want to have sex. Proceed with great caution however as it is highly probable that they do not want to have sex and will be very annoyed at being woken up. But at least this way you have given them the opportunity to consent and have not committed a crime. If you are worried that you may want to have sex with your partner when they are asleep why not try this: 'Sometimes at 2 in the morning I'm awake and sometimes think it would be nice to have sex. How would you feel if I gently woke you up and asked if you were also up for it?'

2.) Talking really facilitates consensual sex, as many of the examples above have highlighted. It is apparently common for people to become concerned when they realise that they can't just have sex whenever they feel like it with whoever they feel like, that they will have to start getting written consent before every act. This is not necessary and actually also not sufficient. Consent can be withdrawn by either party at any point so even if you had a written agreement it would become invalid the minute it is signed. But don't panic! You can talk about sex. I am sure you arrange and organise many joint activities with your partner, like your social diary, what your going to do at the weekend, maybe you discus house chores, perhaps childcare arrangements. All these joint activities are things you discus and agree with your partner, its exactly the same skill set its just about healthy respectful communication and agreement. If your finding it hard try this line 'Love, I find it a little hard to talk about sex, I feel a little awkward and embarrassed, but I think it's really important to our sex life that we have good, honest discussions about sex so that we can both enjoy it and ensure that we are respecting each others boundaries. Do you think we could make some time to talk about sex, what we are comfortable with, what we like and don't like, what we would like to try?'

3.) Remember this simple rule: yes and no are two sides of the same speech bubble. If someone can't say no, yes is meaningless. If they haven't said no that doesn't mean they've said yes. Whenever we say yes to something we say no to something else, whenever we say no to something we say yes to something else.

Example: We say no to sex and at the same time we say yes to our current desire and need to sleep
               We say no to rape and at the same time we say yes to healthy respectful consensual sex
               We say yes to allowing our partner a choice and at the same time say no to sexual manipulation        and violence

So if you want your partner to say:
yes, yes,yes, yes, yes, yes, YES, YES, YES, YES!  to sex
you have to make sure they are able to say no.

Simples.

If you are still unsure about how to ensure you have do not have un-consensual sexual activity and thereby violate another human being and commit an offence check out this blog.

"We're all individuals" - "I'm not"

(Lot's of Life of Brian References) 

However nice "always look on the bright side of life" is as a sentiment, the world would rapidly not be a nice place at all if we only ever spent our time looking at the nice sides. Unfortunately we need to look head on at the nasty bits, call them out and seek to change them. 'Cause sometimes life is "a pile of shit when you look at it", and someone needs to say it.

I feel I have been getting into many different arguments recently, about the Olympic closing ceremony, 50 shades of grey, whether its ok to say female commentators voices are 'grating', whether free market economics will solve all the worlds problems, etc. etc. 

Often I feel like I'm in that crowd of people all chanting 'we are individuals' and being the loan little voice suggesting that maybe we're not. 

The tyranny of western 'freedom' is starting to get me down :(

Let's take 50 shades of grey as an example. The reason I and many others are publicly and loudly stating that this book is about and condones abuse and we suggest people shouldn't buy it, is because we understand the normalising power of popular culture. 

You're reading 50 shades of grey on the tube - now you identify the behaviours of Christian Grey as abusive and would never tolerate it. But the 17 year old girl next to you, whose boyfriend makes her watch porn and who's just seen 50 shades prominently displayed in a bookshop and is now reading a bit over your shoulder, she now feels less able to say no to abuse and coercion. As Gail Dines points out the decision for many young women has come to be 'be a sexual object or be invisible'. 

Now you could say that's not your problem, that a person's right to read what they want shouldn't be infringed, that a book can't cause abuse, that someone else should do something to support this young woman, after all you're an individual, she's an individual, you don't know each other and have nothing to do with each other.

Or you could recognise that every choice you make, from where you keep your money, to what tea you buy, to who you give a platform, to what jokes you laugh at, to what you chose to market and sell, impacts on the degree of constraint or freedom of other people's choices. Now here's a choice: you could choose to let that be important data in your decision making process. 

So you can choose to continue to be in a crowd of individuals making individual choices, and strangely still all heading in the same direction, or you could join the little crowd of people who recognise their need for, and responsibility towards each other.

'What has individualism ever done for us?' Well it's brought us creative freedom, freedom of expression, individual rights etc. etc.  - But I still don't think it should get to be an occupying force. 

ROMANES EUNT DOMUS